Neglect...

my poor little blog. It has been neglected. I just have been changing priorities a bit. You see, my name is Heidi, (hi Heidi) and I have a problem. I can sit down on the computer and waste so much time. Just looking at my email turns into blog hopping then to facebook then back to email and so forth. About a month ago I decided that I needed to not be a slave to the computer. I would get annoyed that my kids wanted my attention every time I sat down at the computer. I would ignore or push them away. That isn't right. I realized that I am busy at home. Between caring for their physical needs, cleaning the house, laundry and cooking that I rarely just sit down and have face time with them. So when I sat down at the computer they weren't trying to get on the computer or annoy me they were screaming "pay attention to me!!!" So I have really been trying to not be on here as much. I am by no means perfect, I still check email, blog hop and facebook. But I try to only get on the computer twice a day and then turn it off when I don't need it. I can really feel a difference with my stress level during the day. I am not frusterated with my kids competing for my attention between me and the computer. I actually feel guilty that they even had to try to do that. Oh children, please forgive your mother :)

One big reason for me making this change was this article. For some reason my mind kept returning to this article. I would pick up a magazine to read and for some reason it was always the June 2010 Ensign. I was joking to Jeremiah about this phenomenon and he said well maybe you are supposed to learn something out of there you haven't learned it yet.  Well I did.

I also have been struggling with my relationship with Bode and Laine. They had been so whiny, clingy, hiper and trying my patients every day. I would be frusterated every night putting them to bed. 7:30 was the best time of my day. Then after they were in bed I would feel horrible because all I did all day was just go through the motions waiting for nap time and quiet time so I could have me time. Jeremiah bought me this book for my birthday. I really wanted it but put it on the back shelf and never read it. But I pick it up one day and it was like a light finally getting turn on! Sure I can change a diaper and feed them meals but what they need most is for me to show them love. I feel like I learned so much reading the book. If I fill my children's "love tank" with love then they are happy. I won't go into great detail about the 5 Love Languages because it is worth buying the book and reading for yourself. But there are 5 ways people feel love. Touch, Service, Gifts, Time and Words of Affirmation. Everyone needs these to feel secure and loved. Everyone needs these in different order. Like for Bode he needs quality time and words of affirmation. When I remember these things and try hard to make time for him and tell him positive things he is so much easier to work with and we have a better day. Laine is still a bit of a mystery for me. But I know that when I am not nagging on Bode, she can feel the difference. She can feel that there is less tension in our home and relaxes too. Taking the time during the day to play and talk with my children has really make our house feel so good these days. They also have the 5 love languages for marriage, I want to read that one next.

Another book I have been reading is Covenant Hearts. It was really hard to read at first. Kind of wordy but once I figure out the writing style I really enjoyed it. I feel like Jeremiah and I have a good marriage. We have our ups and downs. But every night I go to bed with a full heart, very grateful I married such a wonderful friend, husband and father. One thing that stuck out to me the most was a quote by Marjorie Pay Hinckley. I can't remember the exact context of the quote, but she was asked what her advise to newly married couples is and she said "Lower your expectations". My first thought was oh, how sad. It seemed so negative. But really it is so very true. Our country has such a high divorce rate. Couples live together to "test" a relationship. If it doesn't work out then no big deal, we break up, get divorced and move on. I think so many people feel like marriage should be easy. Full of romantic gestures, gourmet dinners, fancy dates, hot sex (yes I said that). But it isn't. It is hard. There is a lot of give and take, compromises, arguments, macaroni and cheese dinners but along with the hard things there are happy moments, and moments of pure contentment. Jeremiah and I often joke that we "expect nothing so when something does happen we are pleasantly surprised". I love Sister Hinckley's advise. Lower your expectations of things and just let life happen.

I have also been trying to watch less tv. My husband may laugh at this one. I do watch a lot of tv. My husband works nights. After the kids are asleep I get peace and quiet to watch my shows. But I have been so very unimpressed with so many shows that I used to love to watch. We switched cable providers when we moved. I was sure to write down all my shows so that I wouldn't miss one when the new dvr came. Well, the new shows started and slowly I have been canceling series from my oh so important dvr list. So many shows seemed to inappropriate and I was uncomfortable watching them. So they are gone. And I don't miss any of them. Ok I will admit that I was a little sad to loose Glee. But after this past weeks episode and the previews of the next weeks episode I am glad I don't watch it anymore. I am the one that chooses what kind of things we let in our home, I was letting in the wrong things. I will however still download some songs for itunes. I do love the music.

Ok, congratulations on making it this far though this journaling type post. You will be rewarded in the next week or so with fun pictures and stories of what we have been up to since the last time I blogged :)

Oh, this was my 600th post! Wow!